I WONDER WHY I'M SO TIERED ALL THE TIME
Maybe it's because I STAY UP UNTIL 3 AM ON A NIGHTLY BASIS, WATCHING VIDEOS ON MY RECENTLY-OBTAINED PHONE -
So...I don't remember the last time I wrote a journal. Some time ago. Updates? Yea, let's get to them.
(*) I got a phone for my fifteenth birthday and with it have lost whatever remaining free time I have! Ah, well. At least Phil can stop bugging my mom's phone when she wants to text with me. Anyway, it's a Motorola model, which makes case shopping impossible...and I also got lonely one day and named it Noah...I think I had Stockholm syndrome or something in my past life. That would explain a lot.
(*) My mono cleared up sometime in January but I still have symptoms from it - namely throat problems, which a doctor we visited identified as acid reflux. My mom doesn't trust his opinion (or any doctor's opinion, really, ever since she got her license as a medication aid...) but doesn't know what else it could be, so every other day when I feel like a) crud and b) gagging, she marvels at me and prescribes Tums. It's sort of working. I guess. I dunno. Blegh.
(*) Finally bought Cave Story for myself. Have been singing the main theme internally ever since I opened up that title screen.
(*) I have gotten a -ton- of original works up on Wattpad (a website I personally hate but Phil suggested to me so what can I do). Like a ton. Or only two, really, but on whatever days I don't have a ton of stuff to do or acid attacks, I plot like a madwoman. I don't know or...particularly care, honestly, if I will put up any of these works on DA. But I probably should.
Oi, that brings me to my next issue: I haven't been active anywhere recently.
Some-odd months ago, I semi-intentionally dropped a lot of daily activity on my accounts in favor of issues in real life. Mostly medical issues, as I said. Seems I caught the DeviantART user habit of crashing with a medical problem a few years in.
I haven't completely disappeared off the face of the internet, though, and have been lurking around the DA archives and Wattpad; but I don't think I will ever again get to a point in my life with few enough real world issues to update daily and write fanfiction all the time. At least, that's what it seems like.
I love fanfiction. I love everything about it. I love writing it, I love reading it, I love the people I met through it - strangers on the other side of the screen, connected with me through the same love of a series. And I do miss talking with them - Mae, Roseh, Kit, LovingTogetic, Staryskies - but...
...I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere with my fics.
I can't think of anything worth reading besides some remakes, and my half-finished ones are getting harder to manage each day as my writing drifts out of my circle of fandoms and into worlds I've authored on my own. Some of the new fics I HAVE come up with (a cosplay series, an Heirlooms remake and spin-off) are daunting, because - just like when I first started - I don't feel like I could channel other peoples' characters as well as they could.
I feel more comfortable writing my own.
I've repurposed a lot of my OCs, used and unused, into original books overtime - even Renee, my own self-insert-gone-rouge. I flipped a lot of budding plots into entirely separate stories I could weave into a series all my own. I've run out of time and patience for a lot of fics because I don't feel like wasting my time staring at a blank screen while I try to think up a scenario for alien characters to be in.
I think it was always like this. I've always used at least one original character in every decent fanfiction I've ever wrote, and always had them follow a plot almost entirely unrelated from the series' original story. I guess it's just me and my hatred for copying -X-
So, what I'm saying is...I've mostly moved out of my fanfiction stage.
But I got a lot out of those books. My grammar improved. So did my descriptions and characters and scenarios - and enemies. How I have LEARNED to write a good enemy. The people I met taught me, sometimes unknowingly, how to write a good story, and I owe them hugely for that. I might end up repaying their favor in my self-written science fiction and fantasy books.
I know I'm not completely done with fangirlism. I'm going to be thinking of other people's characters and stories all my life, trying to find ways to see how I could get in on it and have the pleasure of writing such fleshed characters. It's what I like to think of. And it's stuff I want to see you guys react to. ...but I'll keep the really stupid stuff to myself, alright?
Heh. Here I am, running under the name Reevee21 when I gave up on Pokemon writing months ago...
...good JEEZ, that was so deep! Augh! Somebody put in a bad pun or something to lighten things up! Argh, I knew those late nights would take a role on me somewhere...I'm super poetic when tiered...!